making things

we're all young and naive still

we require certain skill

the motive changes like the wind

hard to control when it begins

-the naked and famous

i'm coming to you from the other side of some modestly successful cooking/baking endeavors. last week i was starving and i only had some frozen old bananas so a lightbulb went off and i decided to make cranberry banana muffins from scratch. yeah, that happened. i modified the recipe a little [i don't even know what shortening really is. vegan buttery spread worked just fine. also, craisins do the trick in place of real cranberries. and, cinnamon makes anything better, right?]. anyway, point is, they turned out like something i actually wanted to eat every morning for the next two weeks which i had to because i made a full batch. 


that upped my confidence, so the other day i made veggie fried rice with some peanut sauce. i have to give a shout out to michelle though, she showed me how first. then the leftovers were looking unappetizing so i threw in some onion and a smashed up black bean burger and some soy sauce and voila - i had the weirdest tasting concoction ever. maybe black bean burgers don't belong in fried rice. i ate it anyway being the pauper that i am. 


this is all to illustrate that i'm not ready to be on my own yet. i could still use a caretaker - you know, someone to take care of my budget and clean the toilet and cook me meals because heaven knows i am really quite bad at it. this is not a pity party - it's true. there is a very real reason i can't be a homemaker, and it's not because i'm some sort of feminist [that's a completely separate thing - i think modern feminism supports the choice to be a homemaker as long as it's actually your deliberate choice]. it's because i don't have the desire to learn to make yummy food and keep the house looking clean. i strongly dislike doing it. i feel like life is passing me by as i do dishes and prepare food that can be purchased premade in the freezer section [or that can be thrown together within 30 seconds as a sandwich]. these activities make me want to cry and i don't know what to do about it. 


HELP.

. . . look at the funny squirrel i saw coming home last week. i think he's pretending to be a statue so that i don't notice him. silly little rodent [is it a rodent?].